My brother commented that it was my mothers birthday the other day and told him I know and that I had mentioned it in a quick post on the blog and wth didn’t he even read it? His reply was he doesn’t read that psycho babble stuff and then went on to say maybe I should be the next Ann Landers. WTF. Maybe I should, but I told him Dear Dharma had already taken that format, so wth. What exactly does he think I’m writing here? I can’t write psycho babble because I don’t have license to do so, but I do have a lifetimes worth of experience when it comes to struggling with issues of self esteem, self-worth, ADHD, depression, and anxiety, all un-medicated and all alone. What anyone takes away from reading it is up to them, agree, disagree, laugh, cry, scratch your head, .. I’m just me doing me, that’s all. As said in a previous post this whole “adventures in blogging” was meant to be nothing more than an outlet for my overly active ADHD brain. Ugh. Brothers.
I’ve made no secret here on the blog about my ADHD. Why are there still so many stigmas against reaching out and getting help when something doesn’t seem right? Why is there is a stigma in bettering yourself, educating yourself on how your own mind functions, your mental health? Why is it still viewed with a raised eyebrow when you’re open enough, willing enough to be vulnerable enough to put your guts out on the table. Why is that? It’s this very mentality that prevents people, people who really need that extra bit of help, that little extra boost from seeking it or at the very least, even educating themselves in any way and instead spend their lives in denial and fighting an endless internal battle. Why is it so hard to accept the fact that Mrs. X or Mr. Y is talking to Dr. J twice a month to work through some issues that have been bothering them? Or Ms. K is taking a medication to help alleviate issues of blah blah blah. Why is that so wrong? Why is it viewed so wrong to accept the fact that in one area or another you have, dare I say it, a deficiency. A weakness? Somewhere inside some part of you is not as strong as another part of you and it may be throwing you a little off balance? MY GOD! The Horror!
I’m not a shrink or a pill pusher, I’m not pro big pharma, don’t even get me started, I read Tarot cards and burn sage for crying out loud! I have crystals lying around everywhere, though mostly cause they’re pretty and shiny and make my ADHD brain do a happy dance to look at them, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. You need help? You can’t get your shit together in your own head? Can’t get motivated enough to get up and at ’em? Can’t seem to stay on task? Can’t get yourself out of that funk? Then you need to go get you some professional help. This said from a woman who has tried every herb, vitamin, oil, “attempted” meditation, yoga, affirmation, positive thinking and everything else short of chanting. If that shit don’t work, than that shit don’t work. Shanti Shanti Shanti. Why deny yourself the help you actually need if at all possible? It may not be easy, anything worth anything never really is. I call my doctor Dr. Assclown, he hasn’t done much for me in headspace but he has allowed me try different medications for my ADHD and as result I’ve found one I can begin to work with and works well with me. Moving forward I can look for a better doctor to work with, one that is more caring, compassionate and takes his eyes off his computer once in a while to actually look at me. Don’t take that shit personally. It’s a start. I’m all for first steps because they’re the biggest and boldest, because those are the scariest. They are the bravest. BE BRAVE. My doctor could use some meds himself IMHO. And yeah, I get it, they’re expensive. My point is, if at all possible, if you can’t seem to get it together don’t let pride or shame stand in the way of your mental health. Maybe it’s not medicine you need, maybe it’s just someone completely outside your circle to give you a different perspective or opinion. You never know.
Dear Jeannie J. (??)
What anyone takes away from what I put out here is on them. Most of it’s random babble between card reading, lamenting, musing, you name it. My life has not been overly hard, but it has also not been easy dealing with issues I’ve dealt with alone and on my own. They’ve consumed most of my adult life and I was left constantly fighting an uphill battle when it was so unnecessary. My words are not meant to be psycho babble for anyone, they’re just meant as a little friendly (and pretty universally standard I might add) advice. Do with it what you will.